Friday, October 06, 2006


The Steve Principle

I’m discussing some relationship things on another board, and I know this will come up, so I decided to put it here first.

Let me preface by apologizing to people REALLY NAMED STEVE. Sorry I borrowed your name. Also, let me fully conceded that this is not the end-all, be-all commentary on women and men. This is a small facet on the corrupted gem that is relationships. I’m simply putting this here to keep me from having to type it over and over.

Throughout my life, I’ve noticed that most young, single women (25 and less) have a friend we’ll call Steve. This is their “good friend” or “best buddy” who they just think the world of. Steve accompanies the young female on almost any outing of her choice EXCEPT for dates or anything remotely romantic. Generally, he’s a stand-in for either an absent or non-existent boyfriend. He’s there to be a shoulder to cry on, a driver when she’s too drunk, and even someone to make fun of when her ego is feeling a bit low. This is Steve: all around great friend.

Steve sees things differently. Steve loves the girl. No, Steve REALLY loves the girl. Steve is waiting for the day when she realizes that it’s he who has been there for her, cares for her, and would be the perfect boyfriend/husband for her. Given enough time and enough terrible relationships, eventually it will become obvious to her that Steve is the man of her dreams. This, of course, NEVER HAPPENS. Steve, however, will never get it.

What’s funny is that the girl really doesn’t see it. Well, maybe she does but DOESN’T all at the same time. Maybe she feels a little extra tug when Steve hugs her or a little sad sigh when she goes on and on about the cute guy she met at the bar when Steve was getting her another drink, but any real consideration of that would destroy the wonderful girl/Steve relationship. After all, she’d NEVER lead anyone on. That’s just something her friends do to those guys that follow them around and take them to . . . well, on to something different before it gets too heavy. LOL!

I’ve had this principle for some time now, and most guys agree with it. Girls almost exclusively say “yeah, I see that a lot, but I’d never do it”. After a little questioning, that usually turns into “oh, yeah, there was this one guy I had as a friend for a while, but I’d never do it again”.

Now, there’s a counter to Steve. I call her “Janet”. She’s the female Steve, and they exist for some people. The difference I find with them is, unless they’re hideous, eventually the guy usually has sex with her at least once. This either ends things as she expects him to be exclusive with her or cements things as now two people form a “friends with benefits” relationship. I find the former is pretty rare as GENERALLY one of the two always has a significant other and is rarely available when the other one really needs them.

Anyway, that’s the Steve Principle. Now, back to our scheduled program.

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