Thursday, November 09, 2006

 

Guide to Blogs for the Discussion Forum User

I wish someone would have provided a document like this to me LONG BEFORE I started reading blogs. It would have saved everyone a lot of grief, trouble, and futile attempts at banning readers. If you have a friend who likes discussion forums and is thinking about starting a blog or, even worse, reading other blogs, please point them to this document. It will do them a world of good.

The Guide

Guideline #1
Blogs are not discussion forums. Discussion forums are generally balanced areas for discussion. Blogs are generally theme-based meeting areas for people of like minds and, occasionally, like bodies. Being members of the same family tree is generally a plus, too.

Guideline #2
Blogs are not “news” nor are they “truth”. They’re ONE PERSON’S OPINION generally, and if the blog is very big, it’s one person WHO DOESN’T HAVE MUCH TO DO’S opinion.

Please don’t take a blog as truth, news, or anything you could cite in a research paper.

Guideline #3
It doesn’t take a genius to make a blog nor post things on it, however many bloggers consider each other as brilliant and poignant for authoring a blog. The caveat to this is that GENERALLY, this is limited to bloggers with similar themes and beliefs. Everyone else is, naturally, an idiot.

Good comment screening can make ANYONE look like a genius. Even me!

Guideline #4
It’s a poor idea to frequent blogs that you DON’T agree with. Eventually you’ll make the mistake of actually trying to comment on their blogs, and you will be quickly reminded that they don’t like your kind hanging around. Even more insulting, you could spend your time making a comment only to met by the “Your comment has been submitted for approval” screen. Hint: if you posted anything with more depth than “YOU’RE ABSOLUTELY CORRECT!”, don’t expect to see your comment in public ever again.

Guideline #5
There are generally three different kinds of people of offer comments on blogs. The first two are cheerleaders and dissenters. Cheerleaders post comments like “you go girl” and “you’re so smart!” Dissenters are identified by comments ranging from “I don’t agree completely” to “oh, that’s utter crap”. Dissenters quickly become the third type of comment authors: banned.

Guideline #6
If you read long enough, you’ll eventually realize that a huge number of really active bloggers are out of work, on disability, or have some other life circumstance that prevents them from working full-time. You’ll also see that a large majority of cheerleaders on liberal/feminist blogs are college professors. Actually, EVERYONE is a college professor if you take people at their word.

Guideline #7
If, by some odd chance, you actually find a lengthy discussion with point/counterpoint where the blog author and one commenter are REALLY going at it, you can probably bet solid dollars that the author and commenter are related.

Actually, if you view a blog long enough, you’ll find the heavy comment authors are relatives. It’s funny that way.

Guideline #8
If you finally get fed up and want to start your own blog, don’t bother. The people you WANT reading your blog, won’t. The conversation you WANT to happen on your blog, won’t. No one strays out of their home court advantage without a safety net.

Guideline #9
Most bloggers don’t nor haven’t had experience on discussion boards. They don’t understand why you would say their comment of “if we would quit attacking terrorists, they’d quit attacking us” is moronic and naïve. You’re supposed to agree with them on blogs. Even MORE moronic? WHEN they fling out a retort containing 23 expletives including some phrases that were stricken from the latest Chris Rock album, they end the rant begging the blog author to ban the offender for being mean and immature. And if you DARE respond to the rant, they will be aghast because you were offended by the home team. You, after all, OF ALL PEOPLE should know what type of farm animals your mother had sex with.

Guideline #10
If you REALLY like discussion boards, STAY WITH THEM. Blogging is not . . . NOT what you’re used to. Blogging is the OPPOSITE of discussion boards. Steer clear if you like discussion much deeper than “God, you’re so right . . . so right . . . and smart . . . and beautiful”.


Comments:
Dude, is this about your inability to play nice at Tiny Cat Pants?
 
Eh, not entirely. It's more about how I feel about blogging in general. In all honesty, B's made me feel more welcome than about any other blog I've been on. Some of the people there are whiny and can't seem to take any kind of opposition or questioning of reason.

Like I said, blogging is the antithesis of chat forums, and I like chat forums. Eh, it's why I enjoy them more than blogging. Basically, I find most bloggers just want someone to pat them on the back for being able to come up with 3 or more sentences to write regardless of if it makes any sense or not.
 
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